I already posted this as a note on Facebook, but I figured it was important enough to expound upon. I don’t know about the rest of you, but I have spent the last 17 years of my life in school and will be there for the next 7. 24 years of my life in school and it amazes me that some of the most important lessons I’ve learned in life were not learned in school. The most vital lessons you learn will blindside you.
I will now dispense my own life lessons that I feel hold the most value.
1. Everyone deserves a second chance. When you find yourself reluctant to give one, remember that there have been times in your own life when you needed one, and more importantly, there will be many more.
Yes, I said everyone. That’s because everyone makes mistakes. We are ALL human and not one of us is perfect; although many of us think we are. I hate to be the barer of bad news, but you put your pants on one leg at a time just like the next guy. Get over yourself; if you want people to forgive you, you’ve got to do some forgiving of your own. Not to be sexist, but this is typically a problem seen with women. Nobody cares that she slept with your boyfriend 7 years ago, he was going to break up with you anyway & if it wasn’t her, it would’ve been someone else!
2. If you are dating or are engaged/married to someone whose phone/e-mail/Facebook you find it necessary to check on a regular basis, you clearly don’t trust them and are wasting your time by being with them. Relationships are meant to make your life better; don’t waste your life in one where there is no trust.
Too often, I hear the excuse, “The only reason I don’t trust him/her is because he/she gave me a reason not to!” Okay, so you should have gotten out of it as soon as they did whatever it was that made you decide they are no longer worthy of your trust…simple as that. If you’re going to stay in a relationship with someone whom you are suspicious could be doing something scandalous, then don’t be surprised when they do. You suspected it when you were checking their text messages and recent calls, correct? All I can say is, if you stay with someone you think could be doing you wrong, you deserve it when they do. (I’m allowed to say it because I was there once.) The only other excuse for checking your significant other’s phone/Facebook/e-mail is a problem within yourself…a problem called INSECURITY. This is not to be compared to the doubts you get when someone cheats on you or lies to you. Insecurity is a personal problem, a problem that only the insecure one can fix. You will never be happy in a relationship until you fix your insecurity issues.
3. First impressions are NOT always correct.
I know this because the first time I saw my best friend, I looked at my boyfriend and said, “I don’t like her; she looks like a bitch.” Too often, we make snap judgements and quick superficial scans that rule out the possibility of potential friendships/relationships. It’s as simple as this: you cannot know anything about someone just by looking at them. You don’t know what that person has been through or what kind of battles they are fighting. First impressions are about as reliable as a wet paper bag.
4. People who say they “live with no regrets” are sadly mistaken. Everyone has regrets. However, there is a fine line between regretting something and wishing you could change it.
verb (used with object)
to feel sorrow or remorse for an act, fault, disappointment, etc.
You cannot sit there and tell me you have NEVER felt sorrow or remorse for an act you committed. I do it all the time. For instance, when I lay in my bed eating icing straight from the tub with a spoon, I am always disappointed in myself afterward. The difference? I never wish I could undo it. My point is this; you’re going to have some serious regrets in your life. Learn from them, embrace them, but stop saying you don’t have any.
5. People say, “if you love someone, you can’t be just friends with that person.” That’s the biggest crock I’ve ever heard. The reason you can’t be friends with them is because you are immature, not because you love them.
This is one of the most inaccurate statements I have ever heard. If you can’t be just friends with the person, it’s because you are still bitter that they don’t want anything more with you so you are choosing to not be friends with them. The way I see it is, if you really love someone, you will be more than happy to AT LEAST salvage a friendship from the ‘relationship-gone-wrong’. Granted, it won’t happen the day after you break up, but you’ve eventually got to let it go.
6. You should never settle. Not in a relationship, not in a job, not in a friendship, not ever.
“The minute you settle for less than you deserve, you get even less than you settled for.” I wish I had been told this a long time ago. The reason for this? When you settle for less than you know you deserve, you are sending the message that you are willing to accept less. As a result, what happens? People give you less. If you stand firm in your beliefs that you deserve only the very best, you will end up with nothing but the very best. People are going to give you the bare minimum if they know that’s what you will accept…because they are selfish and lazy and don’t want to work for anything. If you believe you deserve better, you will get better. Make a believer of yourself and you’ll make a believer of others too. Simple as that.
7. Smoking is disgusting and unattractive. Kissing a smoker is even more disgusting.
Need I say more? It’s repulsive. Stop.
8. Nobody cares what kind of car you drive, what size house you live in, or what brand of clothing you wear; if they do, they aren’t worth your time.
I think this one is pretty self explanatory. If someone can’t accept you for who you are, your personality and what you have to offer in a friendship, then they don’t deserve to breathe the same air you breathe. If you’re one of those people who judges people based on materialistic things, you should take a minute to reexamine yourself. You are clearly lacking in places where it actually matters and are much worse off than the people you’re judging.
9. Don’t blame others for YOUR problems. The sooner you acknowledge them as your own, the sooner you can start working on them.
As I’ve said before, everyone makes mistakes and everyone has problems. EVERYONE. No one is going to reprimand you for yours…however, they will not take it so well when you start blaming them for your problems. Just accept them, fix them, and move on. Stop placing blame on others for mistakes you’ve made. Own them. Your mistakes don’t define you, but they are necessary to learn and grow.
10. Putting someone down who isn’t there to defend himself is cowardly, so stop thinking it makes you look cool. Everyone you’re saying it in front of, whether they are laughing or not, knows that you wouldn’t be saying it if that person was there.
It’s unfair to criticize someone who isn’t there to defend himself. It makes you look like an obnoxious idiot and all the people who witness this act of stupidity will lose all respect for you because they know you’re probably talking about them too. It just makes an ass out of you, not the person you’re scrutinizing.
11. Don’t be disrespectful to other people and don’t put up with people who are disrespectful to you.
Growing up in the south, respect is one of those things that’s been drilled in my head from a very young age. Respect for elders, respect for people in positions of authority, respect for oneself, respect for friends, respect for acquaintances.. we are taught to respect EVERYONE. That respect is demonstrated in different ways, depending on who it is for. Yes ma’am/sir, please, thank you, holding doors for those behind you,don’t interrupt others when they are talking…those are some of the most common ones we learn. Living in Gainesville, I have come in contact with some of the most disrespectful people I have ever seen. I’d like to take a minute to rant about some of the things I find the MOST disrespectful.
Allowing children to run amuck in stores, offices, and restaurants so that their undisciplined behavior becomes everyone’s problem. If you want to let your children act like that at home, more power to you, but….are you ready for the shock of the century? Okay, here goes: I DO NOT LIKE CHILDREN AND I ESPECIALLY DO NOT LIKE YOURS THAT IS SCREAMING IN MY EAR WHILE I AM TRYING TO EAT SUPPER! You know those child harness/leash devices that everyone thinks are so cruel? I think your child could probably benefit from one of those. Here’s an idea, BE THE PARENT YOU SHOULD BE AND BEAT HIS ASS AND I PROMISE HE WILL THINK TWICE BEFORE ACTING SOMETHING LIKE A FREAKING WILD ANIMAL AGAIN!!!! It worked for my meme, it worked for my mom…it’s foolproof. Spare the rod, spoil the child? ABSOLUTELY!! As the Bible tells us, “Do not withhold discipline from a child; if you punish them with the rod, they will not die. Punish them with the rod and save them from death.” (Proverbs 23: 13-14)
Far exceeding the fear of death & disease is the fear of public speaking. VERY few people like standing in front of a crowd and talking for 3 minutes on a topic of choice…and we ESPECIALLY hate those torturous impromptu speeches. I can honestly say that I have one of the biggest fears of speaking in front of a crowd of anyone I have ever met…and probably the ones I haven’t met too. The thought of just standing up and introducing myself to a group makes my stomach turn. My face, neck, and chest will turn bring right, I become nauseous, I stutter, I can’t for the life of me be still…it’s really an ugly situation. On to my point….I can’t think of anything more inconsiderate than carrying on a conversation or laughing or making noises while someone is giving a speech. Get over yourself for 3 minutes and let that person give their presentation. As if it isn’t hard enough for them already, stop being so damn immature and making it that much more difficult for them to get through it by sitting in the back of the classroom and talking to your just as disrespectful friend about something that could wait until later. Maybe it’s boring and you think you aren’t going to make it through those next 3 minutes, but I can assure you, it is 500 times worse for the speaker. They probably want to be giving the speech almost as much as they’d like to jump into a pond with a cat strapped to their face.
People who do not hold the door for others or don’t stay ‘thank you’ when someone holds the door for them. There’s really not much else to be said about this. It doesn’t take much effort to quickly look behind you to make sure no one else is behind you so you don’t shut the door on them or to utter a simple ‘thank you’ when they take the time to hold the door for you.
11. Roughly 9/10 bad things I worried about never happened. Likewise, about 9/10 bad things that did happen never occurred to me to worry about.
Moral of the story: stop worrying so much. “Worrying is about as effective as trying to solve an Algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.”
12. Never ruin good things with bad decisions!
We sometimes make bad decisions unconsciously, or with the best intentions, but most of us were taught right from wrong and we know, for the most part, when we are making a decision that is going to negatively impact our future. Whether it’s in school, relationships, friendships, or just life in general….you WILL regret it in hindsight.
13. When you talk, you can only say something you know. When you listen, you may learn something new.
Never underestimate the power of listening. “God gave us mouths that close and ears that don’t. That should tell us something.”
14. Remember that not getting what you want may be the best thing that never happened to you.
I’ve never doubted the truth of the line “Some of God’s greatest gifts are unanswered prayers.” Everything does happen for a reason, and while you may not understand it at the time, you will look back one day and realize that God knows what he’s doing. Have more faith in Him.
15. There are 2 choices for bridges; crossing them & burning them.
Deciding whether to cross them or burn them is one of the hardest decisions you have to make in life. Mastering this decision comes from previous experiences alone, good & bad. However, make sure it is a definite decision…do NOT try to do both.
16. Mom’s ALWAYS know best.
Everyone should learn to place more stock in their mom. 99.9% of the time, she is right.
And that is all I have today! Hope you enjoyed it!